


"This isn't going to work!"

by InTooManyFandomsRay



Series: 30 DAYS DIALOGUE PROMPTS [27]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), Humor, Idiots in Love, Lancelot (Merlin) Lives, M/M, Matchmaking, Minor Gwaine/Percival (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Oblivious Merlin (Merlin), POV Leon (Merlin), Pining Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Pining Merlin (Merlin), Sir Leon the Long Suffering, everyone is oblivious, leon is done, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 05:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30084270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTooManyFandomsRay/pseuds/InTooManyFandomsRay
Summary: Leon is running out of patience looking at Arthur and Merlin pine for each other. So the knights decided to take matters into their own hands.
Relationships: Implied Percival/Gwaine, Knights of the Round Table & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Knights of the Round Table & Merlin (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: 30 DAYS DIALOGUE PROMPTS [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129253
Comments: 9
Kudos: 180





	"This isn't going to work!"

Leon couldn’t keep up the charade any longer. Every time he was witness to it, he could feel just another part of his soul wither and fade away. He had to mentally restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Sometimes he wished he could do something about it, but he was too bound. He was certain he didn’t deserve this. There was no reason he had to be subject to this. But here he was, helpless at the scene unfolding before him. He was selfless, he was brave, and he didn’t get nearly paid enough to deal with this. He was quickly running out of patience.

The council was in the middle of a very interesting report on taxes from the outlying villages and King Arthur was halfway through eye-fucking Merlin who stood across the room. Sweet, innocent Merlin, who also did not deserve Arthur’s perverted advances, even if he was completely oblivious to it.

Yeah, Leon thought. He was pretty much out of patience. He needed to act before he accidentally killed himself, or _worse_ , killed Arthur.

\---

It didn’t help that Arthur took out his… energy by absolutely demolishing the knights during every training session. Leon was certain that if they could simply divert his drive towards certain other means, they would possibly not have to go limping to Gaius for pain medicine later. He was also fairly confident that the others would support his view.

His thoughts were confirmed that evening when the knights met for drinks at the Sun.

“Out of everyone, Leon, you would’ve been the last person I expected to come up with this,” Gwaine said, wiping the froth from the ale off his mustache. Leon shrugged, taking a sip from his own glass. Lancelot shot him an understanding smile. “I know how you feel.”

“So what’s the plan then?” Lancelot asked, leaning forward.

Leon frowned. “I hadn’t thought that far yet. But I think step one should be confirming their feelings, yes?” They nodded in agreement, but he knew it was easier said than done. The two of them would never admit their true feelings for each other so easily. Unless…

“Lancelot, you’re Merlin’s best friend, right?”

Gwaine’s head shot up. “Oi! I’m the best friend.”

Percy patted his arm in sympathy and sniggered, “Gwaine, I think we can agree that Lancelot knows Merlin better than any of us.”

Gwaine refused to let the matter be and leaned into Percy’s touch. Leon felt a pain in his temple. This would have to be addressed later. After they had dealt with Arthur and Merlin. Gwaine pouted, “But I’m his best friend.”

“We can both be the best friends, okay?” Lancelot said, smiling at him. Gwaine seemed to ponder it over and Elyan spoke up, “What are you getting at, Leon?”

Leon rested his elbows on the table. “We can have Lancelot melt away Merlin’s defenses, _yes Gwaine, Lancelot, now sit down_ , while I can try to get Arthur to talk. That way we can find out the truth, yes?”

Satisfied with this step, the others nodded, and settled back into drinking their liquor in peace. Everyone except Gwaine, who still seemed to be hung up on the fact that Lancelot was Merlin’s best friend.

“But _I_ am his best, best friend, okay Lance?” he said, trying his best to stare down the man. Lance sighed and swiped his hand down his face in resignation. “Sure, Gwaine, whatever you want, okay?”

\---

Leon was pacing outside Arthur’s room when the man in question swung open the door. He startled, eyes wide and heart racing at getting discovered. But Arthur only beckoned him inside. “Come in Sir Leon. I can’t concentrate with you walking up a storm outside my chambers.”

“Sire,” he said, politely. Arthur walked to his desk, and picked up his quill, scribbling away on the parchment. Leon shifted on his feet, unsure of how to proceed with the conversation when Arthur spoke up once again. “Sir Leon, is there something you wish to tell me?”

Arthur’s look was sharp and heavy, and Leon could feel his stomach recoiling with nerves. Even if he had known Arthur since he was a child, this was still his King. Arthur must’ve seen the hesitation on his face because his features softened a fraction as he said, “You have nothing to fear from me, Leon. Have we not grown as friends?”

“Of course, sire-” he started, but Arthur shot him a look which had him backtracking his words. “Arthur,” he corrected himself. Arthur’s lips twitched into a small smile as he waved his hand, asking Leon to continue. He took a breath and prayed Arthur was in a good mood. And that Merlin was around to calm him down if things went south.

“I was wondering, Arthur, if there is someone in your heart.”

Arthur froze in his stance, eyes as wide as saucers. And then he proceeded to promptly choke on his spit, turning a deep shade of red. Leon scrambled over to him and thumped his back. Once he had calmed down, he looked Leon in the eye and said, “Someone in my heart?”

“Ye-yes, Arthur. Like someone, you might fancy. Or love,” Leon stuttered as he rambled on, “And if there is, I was wondering if you’ve made a move yet. You should know that whoever you love, you have my support. And the support of the knights, of course. We respect you, and we only want for your happiness.”

Arthur stood up, not taking his eyes off from Leon’s. They looked wary now, like a cat. “Why don’t you speak outright, Leon? Come to the point.”

Leon steadied himself. This was it. No point beating around the bush. “Do you love Merlin?”

“Merlin?!” Arthur gaped, quickly turning red again. “What gave you that idea? I know to some people he might be considered handsome, with his doe-like eyes, and pink, plush lips which stretch into a sunny smile, and-”

“So that’s a yes, then?” Leon cut off his mortifying stammering. Arthur’s mouth parted and closed like a fish for a few moments before he closed his features off and glared at him. “If that will be all, Sir Leon? I have work to get back to.”

Leon gave a muted sigh. “Sire,” he said, and turned around to hide the growing smirk. So Arthur was confirmed, even if it was grudgingly and not said outright. He hoped Lancelot was faring better.

\---

“They are deeply, obliviously, _stupidly_ , in love with each other,” Lancelot declared that evening as he downed an entire tankard in one go. Leon raised his own glass to that. That much was plain to see.

“So how do we do this, then?” Gwaine asked with a dubious look in his eyes as he rubbed his palms in anticipation. “Lock them in a room together?”

“Heavens, no.” Leon scrunched his nose. Elyan nodded. “I agree with Leon here. That simply won’t work. We need to be more subtle.”

“I have an idea,” Percival said. He had an insane glint in his eyes that made Leon regret bringing up this topic.

\---

“This isn’t going to work!” Gwaine hissed, as ran his hand through his hair again. Leon, on the other hand, was confident it would work. A little too well, in fact. Elyan voiced it aloud, “Shut up, Gwaine. We’ll be training harder for a few days, but it _will_ work.”

“Now go!” Percy pushed the man towards the direction of Merlin, who was currently mucking out the stables. Gwaine shot them a glare and stomped away. The knights crept around the area and pressed their ears to the wall outside the stables.

“Merls! How’s life?” Gwaine’s voice rang out, and Leon suppressed a cringe. How’s life? _How’s life?!_ Good grief, the man was a complete buffoon.

“Gwaine? Do you need something?” Merlin asked.

“Just wondering if you’re free tonight. Let’s get a drink together.”

Leon could barely make out the blurry form of Arthur in the distance, which seemed to be closing in on them. Gwaine had better speed it up.

“Tonight? I don’t know, Gwaine…”

“Come on! It’s been so long since we had time to ourselves,” Gwaine prodded.

Arthur was closer now, and his brows were furrowed in confusion.

“I’ll think about it, I guess.”

“That’s my man!” Just as Gwaine exclaimed those words, Arthur entered the stable. What followed was Gwaine sauntering out with a pleased smirk, and Arthur proceeding to fume over what Leon predicted to be a blushing Merlin.

Once they were a safe distance away, the knights rounded on Gwaine. “Well?”

“Boys, the princess was completely furious,” Gwaine chuckled. “This might work out after all. You should’ve seen his face. It was priceless!”

\---

“I hate you guys. No, I _loathe_ you all,” Gwaine moaned, nursing his bruised bicep. Arthur was in a particularly foul mood the next day, which Leon had already anticipated. So he planned a timely getaway patrol and got away. The other knights weren’t doing much better, but Gwaine took the worst beating. Arthur had made him run twenty rounds across the field and then proceeded to whack him with a sword under the guise of ‘training’.

Percival grimaced and took the poultice from his hands. He placed it softly on Gwaine’s bicep, with such concentration that he missed the lovelorn look shot his way by the man. Leon shook his head slightly. This couple would have to wait another day.

“Can I propose something else?” Elyan prompted.

\---

It was a regular hunt, with Merlin and Arthur bickering away like an old married couple. And just like Elyan had predicted, Merlin tripped over the air and managed to get his foot twisted. He sat there holding his foot, face twisted in pain.

“Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed, running over to his side. The knights shared a look. Leon restrained himself from having another facepalm. Arthur was grabbing him by his shoulder, and rubbing his thumb in circles, and Leon was about ready to jump off a cliff. Arthur looked up with concern on his face. “He won’t be able to walk. Someone needs to carry him.”

“I’m _fine-_ ” Merlin protested but was cut off by a sharp look from his king. Arthur turned to Leon. “Sir Leon? Take Merlin up on your horse, will you?”

“I-uh-my arm hurts from training this morning!” He pursed his lips, feigning a pained roll of his shoulder. Arthur frowned at him, and Leon wished the ground would swallow him up. He called out over his shoulder, “Lancelot?”

Lancelot was obvious in his thinking look but managed to put together an answer. “Muscle pull, sire. Gaius has me under strict instruction to not move it.”

Arthur’s frown deepened, and Merlin opened his mouth to protest again, but Arthur shushed him with a finger on his lips. This in turn had Merlin turn into a tomato due to the proximity. Arthur looked at Elyan.

“I have a sunburn.”

“It’s winter, Elyan.”

“But the sun’s still there, yes?” Elyan pointed out stubbornly. Leon’s eyebrow disappeared into his hairline. “Percival? Surely you-”

Percival quickly interrupted him, “I got stung by a bee.”

There was no swellings insight. Arthur gaped like a fish, again, and shook his head. Leon figured it was a fair reaction. He turned to Gwaine.

“I can do it!” he exclaimed, stepping forward enthusiastically and Arthur sprung up, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“No need,” he said with a strained voice. “Merlin can ride with me.”

“Arthur-” Merlin griped again, but Arthur scooped him up like a bag of flour and swung him over his shoulder. Merlin shrieked and complained about Arthur’s fat arse for the rest of the journey. Leon wished he had cotton to stuff into his ears. 

\---

“So, let’s just shove them into a room, yes?” Lancelot proposed. Everyone was in accordance. If this didn't work, Leon might just drink poison to escape the pining.

\---

The knights were given several threats by Arthur and Merlin when they slammed the door shut and held it fast with their combined bodies. After some time, they expected maybe a love confession or sounds of kissing. What they did not expect was complete silence, except some mindless chatter.

“Merlin, pass me the knife, will you?”

“Fetch it yourself, you prat. I’m not your servant.”

“…. Funny, that’s exactly what you are.”

“Shove it.”

“You shove it.”

“ _Dollophead._ ”

“ _Mer_ lin.”

“Shutting up.”

“Excellent.”

Daylight faded into night, and the knights were getting increasingly frustrated. Even locking them up didn’t seem to work. Leon sighed in defeat. This was getting nowhere. He got up, dusted off his pants, and walked away, with the others in tow.

Maybe they should try magic. 

\---

Merlin waited until the footsteps faded before he asked, “Arthur?”

“Hmm?”

“How long until they figure it out?”

Arthur pressed his face further into Merlin’s neck. They were sitting on the bed, with Merlin between his legs and his back to Arthur’s chest. His warlock was reading one of his magic books while Arthur peacefully cuddled him. “I give it three days.”

Merlin snorted in front of him. “Three days? You’re generous. I don’t think they’ll realize it for another month.”

“True. I love how they’re trying to get us together.”

“It’s hilarious,” Merlin said, his body shaking with muffled giggles. Arthur silently agreed. He wound his arms tighter around Merlin’s waist, pulling him closer. “I didn’t like the way Gwaine looked at you, though.”

Merlin settled back into him. “I know, you possessive prat.” Arthur raised an eyebrow at that.

“Possessive?” He demanded, and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s neck, eliciting a moan from him. “I’ll show you possessive.”

Merlin thanked the triple goddesses that the knights were no longer at the door because what followed was not meant for their ears.

**Author's Note:**

> MORE RAMBLING!


End file.
